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3 Reasons to take regular walks in nature

Hanging out in nature has an undeniably relaxing effect on the human mind and body. During this uncertain time with Covid19 causing a lot of anxiety and fear, simply going for walk can help bring a little calm into our lives and keep us healthy. I should quickly mention how healing the sun ( vitamin D) is…please go out and enjoy the sun, its free and you don’t have to do much to be able to enjoy it. Walking outside, sitting on your porch or balcony or simply laying out in a field are all great ways to get some sun, 30-40 minutes is a good amount of time to spend in the sun, and if you’re prone to burning, wear some sunscreen.

It’s no surprise how little things like walking in a field full of flowers or simply watching a sunset are the simple things in life that people stand in awe in of. When I see a sunset, a rainbow , a mountain peak or even the beauty of snow when it first hits the ground, I’m reminded of this scripture:

 In His hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to him.The sea is His, for he made it, and His hands formed the dry land.

Psalms 95:4-5 NKJV

This is a sure reminder that God created nature, along with the soothing effect on us. Let’s get into the reasons to walk in nature everyday.

1.Improves anxiety levels

photo: Unsplash

Studies have shown that there are short term results from just simply being in nature and exercising in nature has long term results. Even in the winter months walking can be soothing, and actually very relaxing. I found that when I would exercise or simply just walk in a park surrounded by greenery and even small bodies of water, I would immediately feel calmer, and my anxiety (and chest pain) levels would stop.

2. Improves mood

Photo: Unsplash

Ever seen someone go for a walk after a heated argument and come back in a calmer mood? Or someone who feels sad? This is because walking in nature improves the mood and releases endorphins that help stress hormones and also mild depression temporarily. Speed walking releases even more endorphins.

3. Improves Cardiovascular function

photo:Unsplash

Heart attacks and strokes can be reduced by simply just walking 30 minutes a day ( just 30! No excuses! ). Walking lowers the bad cholesterol (LDL) and increases the good cholesterol (HDL) levels. “Increasing the amount of vegetation in a neighborhood may be an unrecognized environmental influence on cardiovascular health,” said lead author Aruni Bhatnagar, professor of medicine at the University of Louisville. He called such an effort “a potentially significant public-health intervention.”

Get moving today! It will only benefit you!

Be well,

Lex

My unexpected hiatus

WOW, Happy New MONTH guyssss! Okay, so I know I have sort of abandoned this blog since March. This wan’t my intention but to be honest discouragement and fear started creeping in and I just had to take a step away from writing to get myself together. I’m back now and ready to pump out some awesome content!

Stay tuned!

Lex

Soul Ties: What no one talks about (+Prayer to break them)

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Note: This post may contain an affiliate link

What is a Soul Tie?

A soul tie is the spiritual knitting of souls between two people. Soul ties can be formed between romantic partners, family or friends. In a romantic relationship are formed through sex but they can also be emotional in nature. They can be so strong that one person can begin to take on the behavior of the one they are soul tied with. Only God can break a soul tie through prayer, (which I’ve added at the end of this post) but there are few things we can do to facilitate healing as well.

Healthy soul ties

An example of a healthy soul tie is in the book of Samuel. 1 Samuel 18:1 reads : “And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that athe soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, band Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” 1This is an example of a healthy (non sexual) soul tie. Jonathan and David were good friends who shared a deep bond. Other examples of a healthy soul tie is within marriage or with a parent and child ( which can also become unhealthy).

Unhealthy soul ties

An unhealthy soul tie can be formed when two people become too attached emotionally or form an attachment through sex. The Bible talks about a man and woman becoming one flesh (Genesis 2:24) and this is because spiritually, the sexual union between two people is an act that says they are married. The heart and mind could be saying, “I’m just having fun!” but the physical act in the spirit actually means these two people are married whether they know it or not. 1 Corinthians 6:16 reads “Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For p“the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.”

I know a lot of people talk about soul ties on social media in terms of one’s ‘energy’ being off and all that new age stuff. The internet is so quick to throw ‘energy’ onto everything when really this is a real spiritual issue that only God can fix. Listen, soul ties will have you thinking about an ex- boyfriend or girlfriend from 10 years ago. A soul tie will have you in an abusive relationship that never should have went past hello. Oh yes ma’am its that serious. Sex comes with major consequences, more than the eye can see. It’s not just about’ protecting yourself with condoms or popping’ a pill so you don’t create a human being.

Effects of soul ties

  • Behaving out of character.Have you ever dated someone and you actually started to behave/act more like that person? If they were angry all the time, you became angry. If they smoked you started smoking? Again, because you became one with this person, you began to take on their characteristics. This happened with a young girl. She became mentally unstable because the man she slept with had mental issues running through his family bloodline. She was able to get delivered, thankfully.
  • Depression/ Feeling like you can’t move on- When you break up with someone whom you’ve had a sexual relationship with, it is going to hurt badly. Sex is a spiritual exchange. When you sleep with different people your soul becomes fragmented and the person takes a bit of your soul with them. This is why a lot of couples sometimes can’t connect sexually. Angela, Tom, Sarah, David and whoever else took a bit of them each time they engaged in sexual intercourse, and essentially one’s spouse gets the left overs, which may not even be substantial at all . This is also why single people literally feel like they’re in pain and like their world is ending when they sleep with someone and then suddenly the sex appointments stop becoming so frequent.
  • You become distant/far from God- why? Sin separates us from the Lord.
  • You’re married you find yourself cheating and you feel like you can’t stop–this is a soul tie, and this is why a lot of people get divorced…they never bothered to take care of spiritual issues before marriage.

No condemnation: Steps to healing

I wrote this to help my readers understand the spiritual implications of having sex outside of marriage. I’m not here to condemn you or point fingers. Even if you’ve made a mistake in the past or even right now as you read this, as long as you are breathing you have the opportunity to make things right by repenting.

The very first thing you need to do (after repenting) is go no contact this means make friends with that block button. Delete the person from all social media, block, unfollow, unfriend whatever you need to do. This is one of the fastest ways to heal. Let your friends and family know not to give you updates about this person, so you can focus on your healing.

To get this process started and to get an in depth understanding about soul ties, I HIGHLY recommend you listen to Pastor Robert Clancy’s Youtube videos on the subject. He explains what soul ties are and leads into warfare prayer to break them. Find them here and here. It’s time to regain your freedom! These videos were & still are a blessing to me. I pray they will bless you and I pray the Lord will deliver you in a mighty way. Something else I recommend is Paula Rinehart’s book titled Sex and the soul of a Woman: The reality of love and romance in an age of casual sex’.

Prayer

Father in the name of Jesus, I repent for having sex outside of marriage. From today,I chose to honor You with my body and present it as a holy and living sacrifice. I ask that you keep me hidden under your umbrella of protection. I plead the blood of Jesus over the soul tie between myself and _______, and I ask that you break this soul tie between: ________ and I. I command the fragments of ________’s soul to return to him and the fragments of my soul to return to me, making me whole. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Safeguarding

Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life.

Proverbs 4:23 NJKV
  • Emotional bonds create attachments and if you just started talking to someone, your emotional attachment should not be very strong. In order to guard your heart, keep conversations casual. Keep deep forms of emotional bonding for your spouse. Deep conversations form unnecessary attachment even though the relationship isn’t defined, and this can be dangerous. An Emotional connection is what women naturally long for. Men tend to long for sexual connection and eventually they both come to a meeting point in someones bed! Run fast!
  • Guard your heart! What does that mean (in this particular context)? Your heart is your inner feelings, thoughts, choices and will. These things make you who you are as a person. When you don’t control your heart, they can become actions you may not have wanted to take but took them anyway because your heart was set on it.
  • Go out with the opposite sex in groups. Sounds a little elementary but it works. It takes the pressure off to be alone/secluded and gives the chance to know other people collectively.
  • Your single season is a time to form a strong/close relationship with the Lord, and to get delivered from certain things and to break generational curses.It is certainly not the time to jump from bed to bed, which causes more harm than good.
  • Get involved in church, your community and a weekly bible study. When you are productive, you won’t have time to look to the left or right to see what this guy or that guy is doing. But really, I’ve found that when I’m productive (and social)I tend to stay focused.

Safe sex is married sex. Not boyfriend and girlfriend sex, not casual sex with condom and not cohabiting sex. Don’t let the world deceive you.

I do hope this blessed someone! If you’ve experienced a soul tie, how did you deal with it? I would love to hear about it, comment below!

~Lex

My Alopecia journey

I’ve contemplated on how I would write this and if I would write this at all, but one of my goals for this blog is to create awareness about alopecia. A lot people don’t know what Alopecia is and often think it isn’t not a big deal ( yea when it’s not happening to you). Alopecia is basically a medical term for hair loss. It is an auto immune disease/ disorder that occurs when white blood cells attack hair follicles. I happen to have the most advanced form which is alopecia Universalis— hair loss of the entire body which includes the scalp, eyebrows, eyelashes or hair on the body at all.

  The Journey

My journey begins at 16. My sister found a bald spot about the size of a quarter at the back of my head. It was the summer before 11th grade. Honestly, I have never really took care of my hair at this stage of my life. I was at that point trying to transition to my natural hair–this is when the movement was at the beginning stages. Anyway, I didn’t think much of the bald spot, I colored and relaxed my hair and covered it the best way I knew how. I managed to keep it from most people back in high school and I started seeing a doctor I believe just before my freshman year of college. She would give me cortisone shots in my head and eyebrows. I looked into natural herbal treatments which worked—I mean I waxed my eyebrows for the first time in a few years around this time.Everything finally fell out when I turned 20. Needless to say, college was rough, I was depressed and my self esteem plummeted. Over the years I’ve tried creams, oils, trying to eat the right diet ( and failed lol) and a plethora of things. I didn’t (and still don’t) understand how and why this happened to me…I’ve been told it was stress, a spiritual attack… blah blah blah.

Pain through the Journey

I got stares, people joked about it, laughed about it. Family members told me “not to think about it and try to focus on other things”. I’ve heard “Well it’t not cancer, other people have it worse, you are still healthy”. Yes, I guess having your hair fall out for no reason at the young age of 16 means you are perfectly fine.People were and still are extremely insensitive about my struggle with alopecia, which is the reason I tend to keep it to myself. Hair loss or any illness for that matter is never ever funny. It was SO hard dealing with alopecia as a teenager and even now it’s still so hard especially in the summer time. People didn’t get the struggle I went through back then and STILL don’t understand it now, which made me isolate myself. I felt like (and sometimes I still do ) it was easier to isolate than to explain myself over and over. NO, it’s not just as easy as wearing a wig, or putting on make up and wearing big earrings. I would forgo social outings because I didn’t want my wig to fall off or I didn’t want to wear a wig at all. I just became so self conscious. I would go to events and just disappear from the crowd, and separate myself —I’m sure my friends thought I was weird. What I went through mentally and emotionally, most people would never understand. I suppressed a lot of emotions because I had no one who wanted to understand what I was dealing with.

This journey has affected my health in many aspects including mentally and emotionally. It also affected my faith. I wondered where God was through this. I came to the faith when I was 20, and even then I had no hair, my body hair was just beginning to come out as well. I would pray and believe that my hair would be restored, I went to a few conferences, I had other people praying, pastors etc. Nothing. Was I shaking my fists as God? Yes. Am I still shaking them at him now? No. I eventually came to the conclusion that even if God doesn’t give us what we want–a spouse, children, a great career or healing, He is STILL good, no matter what.

Learning through the journey

Through this journey, I’ve made mistakes and sought validation from men because I didn’t think I was feminine/womanly enough. I realize that it is important to seek a therapist, prayer and have a strong support system who can see you through in times like this. I never really had that apart from my mom and maybe a friend or two. I also had to understand that people didn’t owe me sympathy and I didn’t owe them an explanation.I don’t know what kept me going when I look back through the years. Some days are so so tough. The type of days where I would ask why me? Through the tears and pain, I had no other choice but to stand firm.

Be blessed.

Lex.

How to simplify your life

Let me just say, this post isn’t about me trying to force anyone into simplifying their lives, but I’m very inspired by the whole minimalism movement and organizing. Maybe some of you want to simplify the way you live too or maybe just organize your life. I find it easier to have less. When I moved last year, everything fit in my car which was a normal sized sedan. Before I moved I returned a lot of the wall decor I had which I either got cash for or store credit–which I gave out to someone who needed it. Somethings are just not necessary to buy and sometimes decor can be one of those things.

Simplifying your lifestyle is definitely a big part of wellness. Think about it, you come home from work after a rough day only to open your bedroom door and see a pile of clothes everywhere and dirty laundry strewn all over the place. How would you feel? For me I’d feel just as stressed as I did at work. Its so important to cultivate a comfortable and organized home, especially your bedroom where you sleep.

Papers/Documents
  • Throw out junk mail/ unimportant mail – Here is a compilation of websites you can contact to tell them to stop sending junk mail to your home. It would also be a great idea to invest in a paper shredder that way you can keep track of what you need to get rid of.
  • Put a ‘no junk mail’ sign by your mailbox. Save the trees!
  • Don’t grab a receipt unless its something you may need to return- receipts tend to accumulate and never get thrown out…more junk to clean out!

*Did you know? Receipt paper contains a chemical called bisphenol A (BPA)- which causes high blood pressure, and is a hormone disrupter.

  • Put important documents on a USB drive or simply organize them in folders/files and keep them in a place you know you will be able to find them.
      Clothing/ shoes and other items
  • Buy less bins/containers designed to help ‘organize’ your stuff this just allows for more stuff to be put into the containers–and if they’re stuffed in containers, chances are you aren’t using them.
  • Give out clothes that you haven’t worn in years. If its in the back of your closet or thrown carelessly somewhere, then you don’t need it and its likely you haven’t worn it in a while.
  • Quality over quantity.  I’d rather spend a good amount on well made items than make multiple trips to buy the same things over and over.
Groceries
  • Buy groceries on a weekly basis, you can get it delivered from Walmart or amazon. In the NYC/CT area, a service called misfits delivers organic produce right to your door…this helps cut down on waste, and simplifies your life in the process…less waste less time spending on throwing it out and less money wasted. Make what you have and what you will actually eat.
  • Create a meal plan which will cut down on waste. If you buy food in large amounts and don’t have any idea what you will make, most likely the food won’t get cooked at all…money (literally) in the garbage!
  • Organize your fridge and keep items that have a later expiration date on the fridge door(shelves) and keep the fresh/perishable items at eye level so you can see whats in your fridge and what you need to consume before it gets rotten.
Kitchen & Bathroom
  •  Two areas that are known to just have too much stuff…by using products that are multi use. For example Alaffia makes African black soap that can be used as a body & face wash, shampoo, and for shaving, etc.
  • Dr. Bronner’s Castile soap is also another product that has 18 different uses,18!! A minimalists dream. *It’s uses: dish soap, toilet cleaner, shampoo, shaving, and body wash.
  • For the kitchen, appliances like blenders that assist in the process of  baking, cooking and snack items like dips, milling nuts into flour, blending smoothies etc . I use the Ninja Chef blender (saves money and time, it can also be used for SO many different things) or Insta pot which cooks different foods in various ways and  all  in one container.
  • Iron skillets cooks many different kinds of meals–and can be used to bake.With a skillet, you won’t have to buy as many pots and pans. Less appliances = less clean up time, less water usage etc, less clutter on the counter.

What are some methods you use to simplify  in your life?

Until next time,

Lex

Top 5 things I learned in 2018

Note * let me just say, some of these things I knew, but I really really understood them a lot  more because of what I saw and experienced!

1. Everyone is NOT  your friend!

Some people are more like acquaintances or people you hang out with or co workers. The word friend is thrown around so easily. I had to learn the hard way this year that a lot of people I call friends don’t see me the same way and I’m grateful that it all happened the way it did! I would rather find out now that someone isn’t my friend then drag them along 20 more years only to find out they weren’t in the first place. *shrug*. If someone isn’t actively engaging with you then you need to disengage also. Relationships of all kinds thrive on reciprocity.

2. Mental health/ Emotional health is important.

Protect it at all costs! If that means keeping a good distance from people and or places that you know trigger a negative emotional response for you, then stay away for as long as you need to. You owe explanations to no one.

3.  Privacy still matters.

“Its important to realize that our lives matter. Our real lives–not the false images we might project for others to see “~ John F Westfall from his book Getting Past what You’ll never get over

You don’t have to live life on social media. I personally don’t it because  I just don’t find it appealing to have everyone know what city I just moved to, what graduate program I’m in, or If I’m dating someone or not. Maybe, just maybe people wouldn’t be all defensive all the time if they just kept some aspects of their life to themselves. People want to be reality Youtube stars these days, and its proving to cause a lot of unhealthy behaviors to the point where people will stage and fluff up  certain life events just to put it on social media. Y’all can have that.  I can’t afford to seek validation from complete strangers to feel like I’m successful or I’ve made it in life. My validation comes from Christ alone–check out Galatians 1:10.

4.   Be quiet sometimes & just observe.

You don’t have to join in on idle conversations or gossip– both of which the Bible clearly detests, 1 Timothy 5:13  & Matthew 12:36  . You can simply just sit there and be quiet and observe. Listen to where the conversation is going. If they are telling other people’s business guess who is next?! Sometimes people don’t sit and observe ( or have discernment –something I’m praying for even more of and something every believer should have)the people around them and then they get caught up with people who they never should have been friends with or in romantic relationship with in the first place!

5. Seeking advice from others can cause issues

Now, I’m not saying don’t ever seek advice from others–Godly counsel is good. What I’m saying is I learned not to go around asking people what they think I should do about something because  I got multiple answers! Some people will even come to you and say ” God told them this or that”, however, you have to pray for yourself and find out.  It’s important to have total peace about decisions you make. I wish I knew not to allow anyone to rush me into anything  back in 2017/early portion of 2018. Mistakes are made into lessons! We learn from and gain wisdom from them.

I’m done with my speech! LOL Thanks for stopping by! I wish you a happy and prosperous 2019.

What are somethings you  have or  wished you learned this year?

Emotional Wellness and why it’s important

Emotional (and mental) wellness is something some people don’t think they need to pay attention to, but its SO important to protect, nourish and intentionally pursue emotional wellness.

 

What is emotional wellness/health?

This is my definition: emotional wellness/health  is apart of your mental health. It’s feelings which lead to certain thoughts and behaviors that impact other areas of your life.

According to Healthyplace.com :

Emotional health is a state of positive psychological functioning. It can be thought of as an extension of mental health; it’s the “optimal functioning” end of the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that make up both our inner and outer worlds. It includes an overall experience of wellness in what we think, feel, and do through both the highs and lows of life.

Did you know, your emotional health can impact your physical health?

When you are angry do you sometimes literally feel your blood pressure rise? Or start getting chest pain when you are worried or anxious? Oh I know I have! and its not a good feeling. Emotions aren’t meant to be held on to. Its okay to feel sad, angry or sometimes anxious…but its not a good idea to hold on to these things and internalize them. The bible tells us not to go to sleep angry (Ephesians 4:26) …but lets take a minute to understand why. Let me start by saying its O.K. to be/feel  angry but its not ok to be angry and go on a complete rage, calling names or harming yourself or others. When we go to sleep with angry in our hearts that anger can grow and turn into bitterness.

A bitter person often walks around, spewing their bitterness on other people and a  downward spiral ensues not too long after. Now your angry, bitter, resentful all these things because of something someone said or did. One thing I have learned this year is not to let anyone project their nasty behavior or attitude onto you. Sometimes its easy to be petty and be like well I’m gonna slang that attitude right back at him or her! But what good will it do? Its YOU that will feel it when its all said and done, and their attitude has nothing to do with  you baby (*best said in a New Orleans accent–but thats a different topic haha), that attitude is a reflection of them and something they need to sort out.

 

 

How to handle your overwhelming emotions-instead of projecting onto others:

 

  • Praying and or having recorded prayers on replay. Praying helped me to keep my head above water and to not have a complete and utter mental breakdown. I prayed long prayers, warfare prayers, short prayers, silent ones…I had to pray to make it through the rough time I was having. Prayer prayer videos helped me too… Pastor Robert Clancy has absolutely AMAZING videos pertaining to almost everything one could possibly be going through in life. They help me right now in a major, major way. Watch them here.
  •  Spending time in nature or just outdoors in general. Being around in the sun, and around trees/plants, and mountains truly have a calming effect on the body. Houston in particular has some of the most beautiful parks, as well as New Orleans, Washington, DC and the new England area.
  • Exercising–This is like therapy for me. Whenever I would feel angry or anxious even depressed, I’d go to the gym and lift weights. I instantly felt more relaxed and It helped me sleep better most times.
  • Journaling– I felt this was one of the ways I could make sense of the abuse I was experiencing. I could write down my thoughts in its raw form.

Last year and part of this year I experienced emotional abuse, gas-lighting, narcissistic abuse. It was terrible, I didn’t know how to handle it because obviously it was something I hadn’t experienced to that level. This is exactly why we need to learn how to protect our emotional health, not only in situations like the one I went through but in everyday life: at work, school, home, church etc.

 

Protecting  and Pursuing Emotional wellness:

Protect:

Use DISCERNMENT!! Everyone who comes into your life IS NOT  your friend. Understand this and begin to put this into practice. Are they the type of person who always takes and never gives? They belong in a certain place in your life. Don’t get close to this person. Watch and observe people…not in a creepy or weird way, but just be quiet and observe. Is this person manipulative? a user? a gossip? jealous/envious? If so,  RUN as fast as your legs can carry you, don’t look to the left, right or center! I don’t play about keeping toxic people around me not now or ever again. It’s important to note that in as much as its good  to be observant its also important not to keep a wall up all the time or act out of past hurt/ experiences, which isn’t healthy either.

 

Pursue:

Its perfectly OK to keep certain people at a distance or cut them off completely in order to have peace of mind. If someone makes you feel a certain way…say no to the invitation. Hang out by yourself, light a candle or two and have a solo night complete with movies and popcorn. Sometimes for me having too many people around puts me in overdrive and it can be draining. Saying no to going out of your way to do something for someone when you know you can’t do it is 100 percent fine. I always say its better to do something cheerfully than do something and then start complaining *side eye*. Be polite but direct.

To sum it up:

I’d like to conclude by saying that protecting your emotional health is something that should be practiced every single day. Recognize what you are feeling, process it and leave it alone. Give those emotions to the Lord. It can be as simple as saying, ” Lord I’m so angry right now, take this anger away from me and fill me with your peace”. As I’m typing this I’m learning and growing too. I’m putting one foot in front of the other on the path of growth in this area of my life, lets begin on this journey together, shall we?

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Be encouraged!

 

~Lex

 

Welcome to my blog

Hello! Thank you for stopping by my blog. I’m so excited to be blogging again! I  started blogging back in 2009, as a teenager and up until 2012. I guess its safe to say my hiatus has finally ended!! On this blog I hope to share wellness tips in it’s different aspects including emotional, physical, financial and spiritual. Thank you for reading, stick around for a while!

 


 

~Lex